Today I have to meet Boody. I have to go to his film set 'cos this will be the last day I can be there. I have to be there b'cos it's the film written by both of us with so many expectations and inspirations. He asked me again and again to be with him at this last moment so I have to go there.
But something stops me from waking up. Something tells me to stay on the bed as i stayed all the day with a tea and a good book. My friend's told me to meet Boody and if not he would hurt. I know he will get hurt and will think like I betrayed him. But my mood is not set. My feelings tell me to stay where I stay and I can't feel any reason to be right with the common feeling about a good friend, and a bad friend.
If I think it's a boring day to go out there can be no reason to move me out of this metress 'cos my inner self is not set to stand on my feet. And if the mood is not fixed I don't find any other thing to force my body to get up and run where. It's so violent. So I listened to my self. Forgetting all the right things out spoken. And decided to be the bad guy, remaining good as ever to my silence inside.
'Boring'. It's my life.
When it is boring it's not something anymore to compare with good and bad.
It's just Boring.
So I think, If my Boringness cannot be expressed in a friendship, that friendship is a constitution that already written. fascist and violent. And is not needed any more.
Friendship is something which understands the being of each other, Not ethics.
So I believe my friends will able to see my 'boringness' of being good and the greed to stay without waking up...in my boring dreams.
